Burst Attention Span

Nintendo should have done this. Simply enter your Wii number and address, then appear on the map.

It’s quite creepy to hear older men talking to younger girls. That’s why they often do it in the privacy of their own IM windows… But what if you’re a serious journalist and you just want to interview an semi-clad attention-seeking girl gamer without coming over all Gary Glitter?

Let Kotaku’s Michael Fahey be your witty-yet-principled guide in this dangerous area of journalism.
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So I survived the Xbox meltdown meme of 2005 and was only mildly affected by 360 crashes – none of my games spontaneously scratched themselves to oblivion and I never saw the ‘ring of death’. My Nintendo DS never cracked down the middle. I even managed to make it through Christmas without committing child abuse with a Wii remote.

But last night, when I least suspected (or appreciated) it, my Wii began to ignore me. I picked up a remote and pressed the power button to start the console, lights flashed on the remote but then went out again. Suspecting dead batteries from the festive season’s wild flailings I slotted in a new set of Vartas but to no avail.

The second remote caught my eye. Grasping the controller in my sweaty palm, I eagerly pressed ON. Well, actually I pressed the ‘O with a little I in the middle’ button but the effect was the same… Flashing lights then nothing. I downed a Red Bull, conceding that leaving the sofa would now be unavoidable.

Manually powering on the Wii with my atrophied index finger, I held down the Bluetooth sync button for 15 seconds to reset the controller assignments and then tried to resync the remotes. Both exhibited the same behaviour, all four lights flash for about half a minute then stop, makes no difference if I press sync on the console during this time or not.

Checking the forums gave me some additional ideas and a deep seated fear of speling rite. Still no brightly coloured hands floating round the screen. My Wii is useless without its remotes, I can’t even open Donkey Kong Country to play it with my Gamecube controller.

So, helpful and multitudinous readers, is my only recourse to return my Wii and second Wiimote to the manufacturer? The idea of waiting for an RMA number and packing all that stuff off to the Post Office is quite unappetising. But don’t y’all worry that I’ll get bored, the 360 still works and the last bad guy on Gears of War needs another few hundred headshots before he’ll f*cking die… mutter…

I spat sandwich all over my screen when I saw
Joey and David’s ‘Wii Fatality’…

I’ve been playing the Wii (nearly said ‘with my Wii’ – oops!) for a few days now, and the novelty of flailing my controller instead of hunching over analogue sticks still hasn’t worn off.

My actions might be a little more reserved if I were being watched… Wouldn’t want to look a ‘toolbox’!

My first Wii-related breakage happened when I forgot the Wiimote was strapped to my wrist, put it down and reached out for a glass of water, swinging the controller out of my lap and sluicing the coffee table. Stupid, I know – but I’m not alone.

A couple of people have reported accidentally hitting each other with the remote during frantic games of tennis, among many other things. Someone else has even put their Wiimote through the telly, with some force it would appear. The wrist strap cord looks like it will wear out quite quickly if it’s always being detached and reattached from the nunchuck socket, so I guess this is an insurance niche to watch in the future.

Who’d have thought it… Rockstar Games’ new Bully title managed to get a Teen rating despite Jack Thompson’s best efforts to ban it entirely.

Those clever chaps at Rockstar know how to twist the knife though… no hot coffee this time, but boy on boy kissing is in! Very gay, but if anyone decides to say anything negative to the media, they’d better be ready for the left-wing backlash. Crafty, guys! Video after the link
Bully’s Boy/Boy Lovin’ – Kotaku (with a must-read comments section)
Oh yes… and rumour has it that one of the uphill gardeners at Bullsworth Academy is called Jack Thompson… sweet :)

Sony don’t want us to buy their stuff. Unless it’s on their terms, their price and purchased in our own local region.
Sony frequently release games and consoles on different dates around the world, but still want gamers to wait patiently until the product is released in their region.

For that reason, hardcore gamers go to online importers like Lik Sang to get their fix early. When the PSP was released in Japan but wouldn’t be available in Europe for months, even Sony executives in the UK bought their consoles from Lik Sang.

“Sony Europe’s very own top directors repeatedly got their Sony PSP hard or software imports in nicely packed Lik-Sang parcels with free Lik-Sang Mugs or Lik-Sang Badge Holders”

What thanks do Lik Sang get for their stellar service, massive range of products and expert advice? Why, Sony takes them to court in every EU country, creating a stack of legal charges that no small company could withstand and puts them out of business, of course.

Carrying on from Sony’s Rootkit scandal, I’m fast losing patience with them and their products. Here’s hoping Lik Sang’s staff can resurrect their company without losing the values that made them so popular.